In the words of the lyrical genius that is Rihanna – round and around and around and around we go. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, exam time is back! And with it, comes that amplified need to procrastinate.
Sure, I procrastinate during semester, but my procrastination around exam time seems to step it up to a whole new level. Cat videos and seven second vines can no longer keep my mind from that lecture I haven’t listened to, and as much as I love Whatshouldbetchescallme, it just isn’t enough to rid me of the guilt of having no revision notes three weeks out from my major exam.
So I up the ante, resorting to some seriously intense, and embarrassingly shameful, procrastination techniques that I hope at least some of you also dabble in around exam time.
Stalking my own Facebook
Stalking the cute boy from my tute on Facebook is one thing, but stalking my own profile? Well, it’s a whole other level of sad. I’ve been through everything – my own photos, my videos, my timeline, I’ve even scrolled through every group I liked since 2009. I check my privacy settings. Change my privacy settings. Scroll through my profile pictures to see which one got the most likes, and then re-make it my profile picture to see if it gets more. I read my “about me”. Sometimes I even hide my relationship status from my profile to see if anyone notices (they don’t, in case you’re wondering – apparently, no one else stalks my profile as intently as I do).
Compiling embarrassing photo collages
When stalking everyone else’s photos isn’t enough, I like to tap in to my inner artiste and make my own. Usually, this involves the help of a free photo editing app and three to five embarrassing photos, and voila! Not only have I created a new way of procrastinating, but I’ve also managed to embarrass my nearest and dearest in the process.
Seeing what types of crevices I can cram my friends into
Sometimes my need to procrastinate is so dire that I have to break away from the virtual world and come back to reality, where I proceed to put my friends in small, awkward nooks and crannies. My personal favourite? Cramming my pint-sized roommate into an overnight bag and watching her jump, hop and roll around the hallway.
Watching videos of pugs dressed up as medieval creatures
Okay, so I don’t think anyone else does this, but it really is a thing – I’m not joking. I am embarrassed to admit that when a video of a dubstep cat just doesn’t do the job, a video of three little dogs dressed up as various medieval characters will make you forget all your law school troubles. “WTF did I just watch?” will undoubtedly be your first response.
How do you procrastinate around exam time? Share your shameful procrastination techniques below!
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