Lawroscopes: April 2019

source // giphy

Survive Law has taken the liberty of interpreting the stars so you don’t have to. Read our April edition of 2019 Lawroscopes and find out your legal destiny! Missed last month’s divinations? Catch up on March here.

Aries (March 20 - April 20)

This year, April really makes you feel like a fool: increasing work commitments, consecutive assignment deadlines, your phone going off with requests to catch up. While you may think you’re a superhuman, you’re not a machine! You need rest and time alone, even if that means standing in the shower for 20 minutes.

Taurus (April 20 - May 21)

We know how outraged you are at the fact Kim Kardashian completely outdoes you in law (I mean, 100 in Criminal Law in her sleep?! Hello, Supreme Court!). But keep your cool - try not to flip over the library table the next time you hear someone gush about Kim K!

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

It’s Week 5 of the semester and you’ve been late to every single 9am class you’ve had so far. Something’s got to give, Gemini. Maybe it’s time to stop laying in bed for half an hour after your alarm has gone off or it’s time to take a cue from Mark Zuckerberg’s book and just stick to the same clothes. I don’t think your 60-year-old FedCon professor cares about what you’re wearing.

Cancer (June 21 - July 23)

Your emotions are all over the place this month. No, it’s not because of menopause or that men-(are)-on-pause. April is a month of big changes for you. Be prepared to deal with waves of intense emotions, but also don’t be afraid to talk about it.

Leo (July 23 - August 23)

April is the month to try new things that challenge you. No, we don’t mean starting your assignment the day it’s due rather than the night before. We mean trying new, fulfilling things. Fine, even if that means starting your assignment two days before. Baby steps.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

This month, you may find that everyone seems to be disagreeing with you. Well, surprise, Virgo, you’re not always right! Take a step down the ego ladder this month and embrace other people’s views for once. Yes, including the person in your Medical Law class who questioned why they didn’t just consider contraception instead of sterilisation. Patience is a virtue, hunny.

Libra (September 23 - October 23)

“Which firms are you applying to?” “Did you get a first round interview at x?” “Have you started drafting your generic cover letter yet?” During clerkship season, everyone will most likely get on your nerves. And we know how much you hate loudmouths, Libra. But try to give them the benefit of the doubt: everyone’s going through the same stressful process!

Scorpio (October 23 - November 22)

Leave March’s mercury-retrograde madness behind in the rearview mirror. It’s time to focus on doing your own thing. And yes, that might mean reading a case extract on your own instead of relying on the Bible set of notes. That’s what I call character development!

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 22)

You’re that person who sits in the middle of a lecture theatre, laptop screen in plain sight, scrolling through sale items on The Iconic. You know you shouldn’t, but you’re going to impulsively throw $300 at those shoes to cope with your mid-semester exam stress. But just remember that… Oh, what the hell. You do you, queen!

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

You can’t help but organise and reorganise to calm your nerves, having convinced yourself that everyone is doing so much more than you. Let me tell you something. None of us are doing enough. You ain’t special.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Isn’t it frustrating to get an assignment back and lose marks for overthinking and then getting the basics wrong? We know, we know, the answer was so simple that you were too smart to see it. But if you want that top band, take a step back and explain things clearly and simply.

Pisces (February 18 - March 20)

We know you love to have fun, Pisces, but a weekend bender is not what you need with your assignment due next week. Chill, consider a night-in of focused library study, and save your inner party animal for mid-sem break.

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