Survive Law has often posted the quotes of great legal minds, and sometimes quotes from popular culture which sum up the profession and subject so perfectly. But there’s a deficiency that must be remedied: the words of our favourite television lawyer, Lionel Hutz.
Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water.
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".
That was a right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract? Webster's defines it as "an agreement under the law, which is unbreakable." Which is unbreakable! Excuse me, I must use the restroom.
Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge Snyder: You mean a mistrial.
Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
Judge: You mean the lawyer?
Hutz: No don't you worry Mrs. Simpson, I-Uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son.”
Well, that covers a few of his finest. As a bonus, here’s a quote from the blue-haired, nasally-voiced lawyer whom Hutz always seems to go up against:
Your Honour, my client has instructed me to remind the court how rich and important he is, and that he is not like other men.
Truly inspirations for us all.
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