• Marie Iskander

I just can't read any more

It seems like no matter how hard I try to live a ‘balanced’ lifestyle, I almost never succeed and often find myself on two extremes of the spectrum. Having reached the end of the long weekend (which for me started last Tuesday) I can’t believe that I have not managed to re-open a book since my 50% litigation exam. I know I will come to regret this ‘lost time’ when assessment crunch time recommences, but I just can’t seem to motivate my mind to read… anything.

In fact, to be honest I was actually supposed to write this article a week ago and the only thing motivating me to write this now is the thought of actually doing uni work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a hard worker. I’m the type of nerd who always carries a text book in her handbag at events just in case the opportunity arises and I can sneak in a case or two. But I guess that is where my problems begin. I either study ‘too hard’ and then burn out, or I take a break (a loooong break) and then struggle to get into the swing of studying again. Either way my productivity suffers and I still find myself in a pit of regret at the end.

Honestly the most productive thing I have done this week is probably write (and re-write and re-re-write) a to-do list. That’s the other thing I have found out about myself. I am amazing when it comes to organising what tasks need to be completed. I even have a nifty semester booklet which not only has a funky contents page, but sets out my assessments per month and my readings per week. But there is one problem. Nothing actually gets done. It is days like these I consider whether I’m more suited to the role of secretary than that of a lawyer. Alternatively, I may make a great politician. Say I will get things done… and not do them.

I’m sure when I do pick up my first book this mid-semester break I will study super, super hard… only to once again find myself back to this same spot, mentally exhausted taking a week long break and cringing at the thought of anything law-related.

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#semester #motivation #reading #chaos