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Working Hardly: Lawyer Jokes

Chattering teeth

At Survive Law, we love a good lawyer joke. There’s no use fighting it so we figure we may as well embrace it. After all, it comes with the territory...

Hope these help to cure those back-to-work blues. Happy Sunday!

Q: How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?

A: A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, lawyers only screw us.

Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

A: One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

Q: What do lawyers do after they die?

A: They lie still.

Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Just in case you need some more, head to Lawyer Jokes and Cartoons.

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