• Amber Cameron

Working Hardly: Law Students Anonymous


If Law Students Anonymous existed, there would surely be some interesting confessions as we come to grips with the fact that the law is pervading every aspect of our lives. I’m hoping I’m not the only law student who has ever done (or considered) some of these things…

1. Instead of politely inviting your friends to your birthday party like a normal person, you’ve drafted a subpoena in accordance with the relevant Supreme Court Rule and served it on them.

2. With great glee, you’ve noticed that your new diary has a space for your solicitor’s details, just under where you’ve written your doctor and dentist’s details. Somewhat aspirationally, you’ve written “Me”.

3. When a friend accidentally kicks you or touches you, you embark on a one-sided discussion about the elements of assault or indecent assault (as appropriate) and the possible defences open to them. You then wonder why you have no friends.

4. Your bedtime reading consists of “Whitelocke on Lawmanship”, Kirby J’s biography, several thick textbooks, the Supreme Court Rules and a dog-eared piece of paper your boss gave you two years ago with instructions for compiling a brief.

5. Your few remaining friends start to give you law related presents, like a book on serial killers and cufflinks with the scales of justice on them.

6. You’ve framed a large picture of yourself with Kirby J at the 2008 Law Dinner and placed it in a prominent position. You don’t know whether to feel outraged or rather pleased when people ask if he’s your father.

7. You’ve gone to visit a friend but don’t actually end up seeing her. Instead, you spend your time with her barrister father, first doing some legal research, then having a lengthy discussion on the current state of the law. Your friend knows she doesn’t have a hope of distracting you at this point and goes back to her room.

8. Your voicemail message is “Hi there. I currently can’t take your call as I’m doing some important legal research. If you are calling to offer me a Judge’s Associate Position, I accept. Otherwise, please leave a message after the tone.”

9. You’re no longer allowed to play Charades, Pictionary, Scrabble and every other game that could possibly be twisted into a legal version or has rules which could be open to interpretation.

10. You’re no longer invited to fancy dress parties due to your penchant for dressing as famous judges, plaintiffs, statutes, cases and decomposing snails in ginger beer. You think this is greatly unfair and are wondering whether it’s actionable discrimination.

What would you confess at law students’ anonymous? Tell us in the comments section below!

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