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Working Hardly: The Wisdom of Judge Judy

Judge Judy

To commemorate fifteen years of The Judge Judy Show having entertained bored law students everywhere, we at Survive Law have unearthed fifteen of her most memorable quotations…

15. “If you want the facts, you go to a therapist. If you want the law, you come to court.”

14. “I would trust your witness much more if he didn’t have holes in his jeans.”

13. “Sir, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”

12. “That’s going to be the most expensive curse word you ever said!”

11. “l have three sons so l know you are no gift! You’re not even good looking!”

10. “You are not a good witness. Because a good witness answers a Judge’s question directly, and my question to you was a very simple one. A SIX YEAR OLD COULD ANSWER IT!!!”

9. “You’re lying. I can tell because the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up.”

8. “I mean, did you think I was just a fake person here, that they picked out of a supermarket? Didn’t you think that I had any legal experience at all, sir?”

7. [After throwing the defendant and his witness out of the courtroom] “I have other things to do today. I have to get home!” [Points to her wristwatch] “JUDGE JUDY IS ON!!!”

6. “Sir, the table didn’t have three beers and get up and move!!!”

5. “That must be the S-O-D-D-I principle – ‘Some other dude done it’.”

4. “Do you know when a gift becomes a loan? When the relationship is over. Have you ever heard that, sir? Well, neither have I. I just made it up. I’m going to put it on coffee mugs.”

3. “Do you feel as if you’re getting whipped?” [laughs] “You sure are!”

2. “Of course I’m right; I’m always right. I’m like a truth machine.”

1. “Beauty fades. Dumb is forever.”

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