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Unique Law Student Abilities

Superman lifting a car

So we may not be able to design bridges or perform complicated lab experiments, but there are plenty of incredible ‘super powers’ that are unique to law students alone.

Controlling Public Transport

If a law student wants to influence the operation of public transport, all they need to do is have an assignment due and be running late to hand it in, then they can guarantee with almost 97% accuracy that the train/ bus/ tram/ ferry will also be late.

Breaking Technology

Never lend your computer to a stressed law student. I have this theory that technology can sense stress and time constraints in the same way that animals can sense fear. The more you need technological devices to work, the sooner and worse they will break. This means a law student only has to look at a printer for it to run out of ink and have a paper jam.

Last Minute Assignments

Sure students in other degrees can do things at the last minute, but nothing can compare to a law student’s cramming skills. You want a research essay in 48 hours? No sweat! In fact, I’ve seen a law honours thesis (fully referenced, of course) written in only ten days. Equally impressive, I’ve watched a law student write 3,200 words towards a 2,500 word corporate law essay, not like any of it, delete the whole thing and write an entirely new essay, all in 24 hours.

Sensing Stationery Sales

For absolutely no reason whatsoever, I walked all the way to my local Officeworks yesterday. I didn’t even feel like going but when I arrived, I discovered they were having a bit of a clearance sale. I am now the proud owner of two new notebooks, a massive 2012 diary and 29 new pens. True story. This has to be some sort of special law student sixth sense.

Spreading Stress

Law students have this incredible skill of making everyone around them stressed. After all, only a dramatic and over-stressed law geek could make everyone panic about using a semi colon instead of a comma in his or her footnotes.

Caffeine Immunity

Our super-human exhaustion is such that we are able to fiercely resist the powers of Red Bull and coffee. In fact, when I drink Red Bull my body seems to skip the energy rush and go straight to feeling tired.

Mega Short-Term Memory

In the run-up to exams you learn everything there is to know about trusts, cramming three textbooks’ worth of knowledge into your brain in about two weeks. Within a week of sitting the exam, we probably couldn’t tell anyone what subject the test was even for. It’s amazing.

Hyper-Tessellation Skills

Only law students can fit four over-sized textbooks, a laptop, snacks, power cords, notebooks and half the pens and highlighters in the universe into an average-sized bag. And we do this without the aid of a Mary Poppins-style carpetbag.

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